If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Some people are living proof that brain failure does not immediately lead to death.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?