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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

In an alternate universe, sex dreams of me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

5 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on WhatsApp:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Shared recently on Threads:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Spotted on Twitch:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Reported on Reddit:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Making waves on Discord:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

5 months ago

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

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Commentary:
"Life is just one big rehab center with unlimited free samples! 🤪💊 Don't worry, some addictions are more socially acceptable than others… like binge-watching Netflix or hoarding shoes 😜👠 Embrace your inner addict with open arms… just maybe not while you're in line at the grocery store 😂🛒 #AddictLife"

addict, addiction, choice, drug, humor, just, life, struggle

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,960

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,960

5 minutes ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Women watch Netflix with subtitles because they don’t know how to listen.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Spotted on Twitch:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Going viral on WeChat:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Just shared via Twitch:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Going viral on YouTube:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Live now on Snapchat:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Making waves on YouTube:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

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