Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.
  • Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.
  • Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.
  • My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.
  • The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.
  • Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.