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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Time is precious, waste it wisely.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Making waves on YouTube:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Freshly posted on X:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Just landed via Twitch:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Breaking via Threads:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Just shared via Twitch:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Just shared via Snapchat:

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

Seen just now on Slack:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.

Twitter is like a mental hospital where everyone thinks they are the only sane person and everyone else is crazy.
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Commentary:
"Twitter: where everyone is the self-appointed doctor in a room full of patients! 🤪💬 #SocialMediaSanity"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Making waves on Messenger:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Making waves on Messenger:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Just landed via X:

I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.

Shared recently on Slack:

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

Spotted on YouTube:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Going viral on TikTok:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

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