Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.
  • Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.
  • I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.
  • Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.
  • If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.
  • Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.