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Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

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To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

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It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

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Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

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Live now on WeChat:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Reported on X:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Seen just now on Telegram:

One of my favorite parts of grocery shopping is when somebody else does it for me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Reported on X:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Live now on Discord:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

God saw you do that.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
"Oh, oh! Even God had to hit the rewind button on that one! 👀🙈🤭 #CaughtInTheAct #DivineIntervention"

God, guilt, humor, mischief, observation, saw

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Why is the Formula 1 so afraid of rain? Just drive with more caution. That’s what I always do when it rains.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Just shared via Reddit:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Just shared via YouTube:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Just landed via Twitch:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Shared recently on Slack:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Just shared via Instagram:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Just landed via Discord:

I am under no obligation to make sense to you.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Reported on Discord:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

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God saw you do that.

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Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Given the amount of clowns around here, you’d think it would be more entertaining.

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

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Donuts hug you from the inside.

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

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My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Men are like dogs. They’re actually cute, but having my own would be too much work for me.

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God saw you do that.

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