When one door closes, lock it securely, along with all your other doors and windows, before any inspirational quotes get in.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

“Hope this email finds you doing well!” The email found me, therefore I am unwell.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.