Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

15 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Just shared via Discord:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Just shared via Twitch:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Just landed via Instagram:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Just shared via Telegram:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Freshly posted on X:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Trending via Threads:

Thanks for leaving my door open; I was running low on houseflies.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

5 months ago

I’m willing to do anything for a job except write a cover letter.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hiring managers beware: this job seeker is ready to tackle any task… as long as it doesn't involve crafting a dreaded cover letter! 📝🙅‍♂️ Who's got time for eloquent prose when there are memes to be browsed and snacks to be eaten, am I right? 😂 Stay tuned for the next episode of "Avoiding Cover Letters: A Memoir."

anything, cover, cover letter, effort, except, humor, job, job search, letter, procrastination, search, willingness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

15 minutes ago

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Unknown numbers will call me, then expect me to talk first. Welcome to the breathing competition.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I didn’t really feel old until my doctor hit me with the “at your age…”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Trending via YouTube:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Seen just now on Threads:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Broadcasted on Discord:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴