Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I eat posts like yours for breakfast.
  • Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.
  • I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.
  • You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.
  • I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
  • We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”