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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

I wish more dumb people were shy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has viewed:

Iโ€™d like to place an order for a large kiss and an extra-long hug.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Blocking people isnโ€™t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

The pizza delivery guys say โ€œsee you tomorrowโ€ to everyone, right?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

Celebrating Presidentโ€™s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has downloaded:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,546

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,546

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

4,013

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Live now on Facebook:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Going viral on Reddit:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Cleaning out your camera roll is like the biggest chore ever.

Trending via WeChat:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say โ€œI donโ€™t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat youโ€ that usually shuts them up.

Live now on YouTube:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Iโ€™m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Trending via Messenger:

My son was praying for โ€œeverybody in the world.โ€ If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, youโ€™re welcome.

Going viral on Instagram:

Last time I laid on his chest, I heard girls in there laughing at me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

Iโ€™m at a point in life where Iโ€™m just at a point.

Iโ€™m at a point in life where Iโ€™m just at a point.
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Commentary:
Just arrived at my destination: The Point. GPS signals lost, send snacks! ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ“๐Ÿ•

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

[monthly_post_count]

Funny Quotes Total

14,546

Funny Quotes Topics

16,780

Funny Quotes Images

14,546

Updated

Nov 27, 2025

Users Online

3,725

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has shared:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ถ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I canโ€™t even understand the direct ones.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ has viewed:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

What substance do I have to abuse to stop yearning?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Sometimes when Iโ€™m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Snapchat:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dudeโ€™s heart.

Freshly posted on Slack:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear Iโ€™ll need, but I never look at them again.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Breaking via Telegram:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

You know whatโ€™s worse than someoneโ€™s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Just shared via WeChat:

There are advantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it. There are disadvantages to living alone: everything always stays where you put it.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Roses are red, violets are blue, sunflowers are yellow. I bet you were expecting something romantic, but no, this is just gardening facts.

Just shared via Reddit:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Live now on Telegram:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

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