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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

My goal for this year is just to make sure the aliens know Iโ€™m on their side.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isnโ€™t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dogโ€™s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Reddit:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Making waves on Telegram:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Just shared via Slack:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Making waves on Facebook:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

Reported on Snapchat:

If youโ€™re not in my circle of trust, youโ€™re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Going viral on Slack:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Just shared via YouTube:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.
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Commentary:
Why not? I promise to return the flux capacitor on time ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ”„๐Ÿš—๐Ÿ’จ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡จ has downloaded:

Accept who you are. Unless youโ€™re a serial killer.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฑ has copied:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง has shared:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has downloaded:

God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Messenger:

Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Making waves on Threads:

Donโ€™t play with the feelings I barely have.

Making waves on Facebook:

Canโ€™t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Going viral on WeChat:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, Iโ€™d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Just landed via Telegram:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Trending via X:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Seen just now on X:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

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