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I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

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I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

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You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

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I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

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I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.

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I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

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I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

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I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

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Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.