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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

The amount of inappropriate thoughts I have is a little concerning.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Iโ€™m not afraid of ghosts because everyone whoโ€™s mad at me is still alive.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ has shared:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has viewed:

Offering people sitting on the bus my standing room. Like it’s better.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Iโ€™m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and Iโ€™ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

The only thing I miss all day is my bed.

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I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Commentary:
Ah, the good ol' days when it was just Pinocchio's resume getting updated! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฅ๐Ÿ“œ

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ธ has bookmarked:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has downloaded:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Without freedom of speech we wouldnโ€™t know who the idiots are.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡พ has downloaded:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has shared:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. Youโ€™re almost there.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has shared:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.