Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Are you in love with me yet or do I have to post another Spotify link?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”