If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

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The moon landing was faked. They actually went to Mars, and I can prove it.

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It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

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Don’t feel bad if you don’t succeed on your first try. It took Michael Angelo sixteen chapels.

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Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

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I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

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Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

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Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

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Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

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There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.