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Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

During arguments with idiots, I wish I could throw a flash bang and disappear.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,967

Funny Quotes Topics

14,772

Funny Quotes Images

11,967

Updated

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Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Just landed via X:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Live now on Threads:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Your opinions are not my business.

Trending via Twitch:

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Seen just now on X:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Just shared via YouTube:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Just landed via YouTube:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Shared recently on Slack:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

1 day ago

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Commentary:
When sharing is caring, but cake is the ultimate relationship test 🍰😜

cake, desire, food, humor, i, offer, relationship, say, secret, temptation, want

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Cars should come with a secondary smaller “sorry” horn for when you do something a lil silly by accident.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Shout out to myself for ruining my own life.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Old and bitter feels much better than I thought it would.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Seen just now on X:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Spotted on Messenger:

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Breaking via Discord:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

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I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

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Trending Funny Quotes 📈

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

If I don’t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, what’s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

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I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

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