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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

You gotta separate the art from the artist. Like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Sex is like my hair. I didn’t have any yesterday. I didn’t have any today. And unless something drastically changes, I won’t have any tomorrow.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,948

Funny Quotes Topics

14,755

Funny Quotes Images

11,948

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Spotted on YouTube:

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Going viral on Facebook:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.

Just shared via Slack:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.
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Commentary:
Finally laying down is the ultimate adventure—no passport required! 🛌😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,948

Funny Quotes Topics

14,755

Funny Quotes Images

11,948

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Just landed via Twitch:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Spotted on Messenger:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Live now on TikTok:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Seen just now on Discord:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Just shared via Facebook:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Making waves on Discord:

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

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