Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

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Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

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Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

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If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

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Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

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I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

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At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

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Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

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If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?