Losing a white tee to a stain is a different kind of grief.

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American homes are so strange because, why is your front door in the living room?

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Unsolicited sandwich pics.

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The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

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Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

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I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

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Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

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I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

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I need you to put the fun in refund!

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This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

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I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.