I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.