Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.
  • I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.
  • I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.
  • My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.
  • No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.
  • Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.