This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

You only live once and thank God for that.

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The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

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Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

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I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

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Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

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Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

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I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

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Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

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Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.