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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

If I donโ€™t duck my head when I drive into the parking garage, whatโ€™s gonna keep my car from hitting the ceiling?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has shared:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ถ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ณ has bookmarked:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, itโ€™s simply referred to as โ€˜being an Amazon driverโ€™.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesnโ€™t send symbols on glowing screen.

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Single, not sure how to mingle.

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Commentary:
"Still trying to figure out this whole 'mingle' thing… Should I bring snacks? ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ• Or just myself as the main dish? ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿฝ๏ธ #SingleStruggles"



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