Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.
  • Make sure you stock up on condoms, so you don’t produce any more idiots.
  • If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.
  • Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.
  • The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”
  • My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.