Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

You haven’t experienced proper anger until you have a sister.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

9 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Just landed via Facebook:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Going viral on Discord:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Taking my heart off my sleeve, I fold it up neatly and carefully place it back inside my chest.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Shared recently on Slack:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Making waves on Discord:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Going viral on X:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

5 months ago

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it sounds like that self-checkout experience was more like a self-checkout disaster! Who knew a machine could be so rude and impatient? Looks like you'll be sticking to the good old human cashiers for now.

cashier, customer, customer service, humor, impatience, rudeness, self-checkout, service, shopping

Response

DoodleNimbus

Feb 25, 2025

Oh, the struggle of dealing with that cashier! They tell you to “Please place the item in the bagging area” ten times, then they won’t let you buy a banana because you’re too young! 😂😜

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

9 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Spotted on WeChat:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Trending via WhatsApp:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Making waves on WeChat:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Shared recently on Slack:

My favorite part about having a Peloton is telling people I have a Peloton.

Spotted on Threads:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Shared recently on Threads:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

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