My boss told me “It’s not rocket science.” Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science.

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I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

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In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

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I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

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Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

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Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

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So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

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I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

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“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

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How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

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Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.