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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Trending via Pinterest:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Shared recently on Messenger:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Going viral on TikTok:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Just shared via LinkedIn:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Trending via Reddit:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Going viral on Facebook:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Live now on Twitch:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When Pixar gives you life lessons but also makes you question everything. 🍿🐜🤯

1998, A Bug’s Life, animation, bugs, childhood, humor, life, me, movie, radicalized

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, big, big break, break, career, hip, humor, life, life transition, mean, perspective, transition, where
Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

0

2 months ago

arrow, Cupid, death, humor, irony, joke, just, killed, love, me, relationship, romantic, should
The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

0

2 months ago

activity, around, bang, catch, class, crates, critter, crush, easy, eat, fun, fun activity, game, giant, head, humor, jump, Mario, mushroom, super, Super Mario, video, video game, want
Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

0

2 months ago

artist, courtroom, duty, funny situation, humor, imagine, jury, jury duty, lines, situation, sketch, sketch artist, stink, stink lines
Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

0

2 months ago

Alexa, cleaning, conversation, household, humor, robot, Roomba, spider, technology, tell
Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

0

2 months ago

across, back, bra, casual, coming, coming back, honesty, hour, humor, i, relaxation, room, sorry, spontaneity, throw

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

100 shares on TikTok this month:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

No matter how sad you are, there is some form of potato that can make it better.

34 shares on Reddit this month:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

72 shares on Messenger this month:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Going viral on TikTok:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Spotted on Facebook:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Spotted on Discord:

The best way to contact me is to meet me in my dreams at 3 a.m.

Live now on TikTok:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

Making waves on WeChat:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨