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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,548

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Washing machine minutes are not the same as regular minutes.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Just landed via Facebook:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Going viral on Instagram:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Spotted on Discord:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Live now on Snapchat:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Going viral on Discord:

If she has Bukowski on her nightstand, she will devour you.

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

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A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍪😂 "Introducing 'Crumble' – for those who swipe right for cookies faster than they swipe left on bad jokes! Find your perfect match based on your favorite cookie flavor and see if your love can stand the ultimate test of sharing your last cookie 🤷‍♂️🍪 #CrumbleLove #CookieCrush" 😆🍪

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Facebook this month:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

This wouldn’t happen to me if I were a huge dragon.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

81 shares on Telegram this month:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

81 shares on X this month:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How is it still this week?

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,540

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Going viral on WeChat:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Going bananas on Instagram:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Spotted on Facebook:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Shared recently on Instagram:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Spotted on Instagram:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Making waves on Instagram:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

Breaking via YouTube:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Trending via Discord:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

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