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🍪😂 "Introducing 'Crumble' – for those who swipe right for cookies faster than they swipe left on bad jokes! Find your perfect match based on your favorite cookie flavor and see if your love can stand the ultimate test of sharing your last cookie 🤷‍♂️🍪 #CrumbleLove #CookieCrush" 😆🍪

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

1 month ago
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One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

1 month ago
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It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

2 months ago
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Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

1 month ago
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I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

1 month ago
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I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

1 month ago
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

If you stand too close to me in the check out line, you may as well pay for my stuff while you’re breathing down my neck.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I can clean the whole house if I want to, but if someone asks me to do it, suddenly I’m lazy.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Going viral on Threads:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Going viral on Reddit:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

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Activity Log ✨

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

I never give second chances, just 10 and then goodbye.

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

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A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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