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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

If idiots could fly, TikTok would be an airport.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I recently discovered “movies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

Breaking via X:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Trending via Threads:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

Just shared via Threads:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.

Spotted on X:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Going viral on Twitch:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Shared recently on X:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.

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A dating app for people who are way too into cookies, called Crumble.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
🍪😂 "Introducing 'Crumble' – for those who swipe right for cookies faster than they swipe left on bad jokes! Find your perfect match based on your favorite cookie flavor and see if your love can stand the ultimate test of sharing your last cookie 🤷‍♂️🍪 #CrumbleLove #CookieCrush" 😆🍪

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

65 shares on Discord this month:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

35 shares on Instagram this month:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Farting, but with eye contact.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,361

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Making waves on Snapchat:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Just shared via Reddit:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Making waves on WeChat:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Breaking via Threads:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Making waves on Instagram:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Breaking via Twitch:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

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