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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

My life coach traded me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,638

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Later is the best time to do anything.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Just landed via Threads:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Making waves on Facebook:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Broadcasted on Threads:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Live now on Twitch:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Trending via Twitch:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

2 weeks ago

Humorous text highlighting a man's love for his garage as a personal sanctuary.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a castle when you have a sanctuary for cars? 🚗🏰 Let's be real, the garage is where the real magic happens – where tools become wands and oil stains are the battle scars of DIY warriors! 🛠️💪 Embrace your inner king of the garage! 👑🔧"

castle, garage, home, humor, man, personal, personal space, sanctuary, space

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on X this month:

“I’m not jealous of nobody but stay-at-home wives who are married to wealthy men.”

87 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

57 shares on Reddit this month:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Anyone know which wine pairs well with societal collapse?

86 shares on Threads this month:

“It is what it is,” I say, as I almost vomit from anxiety.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The first step to recovery is addiction.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

11 out of 10 women are always right.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,329

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

Live now on Twitch:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My weight loss journey is just the three hours in between meals.

Spotted on Pinterest:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Making waves on Telegram:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

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