Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.
  • When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.
  • Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.
  • Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.
  • The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?
  • Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.