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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Just shared via Messenger:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Going viral on Discord:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Going viral on TikTok:

Am I just getting older, or are people getting more annoying?

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Shared recently on Slack:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Seen just now on X:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Spotted on Slack:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Going viral on Reddit:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

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Commentary:
Ah, the timeless wisdom of acknowledging when the partner is right! 🤣👏 Let's hear it for the wise man who knows that sometimes, saying "Yes, darling. You're right." is the greatest form of wisdom and diplomacy! 😄👍

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine she’s home alone, bored out of her mind, and she STILL won’t put that laundry away. She is me.

20 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

83 shares on X this month:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I need money, not feelings.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t even know what I’d do if a sailor called me a landlubber. I’d probably lose my cool.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear music, thanks!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

30s: Oh look, a dance floor! 50s: Oh look, a couch!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you sexually active?” Dude, I’m not even socially active.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,398

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Netflix & by yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

The problem with expensive things is that you tend to want them.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Trending via Slack:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

Just landed via Telegram:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Making waves on TikTok:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Live now on TikTok:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

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