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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Overthinkaholic!

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,950

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Just landed via TikTok:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Making waves on Twitch:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

Just shared via X:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Going viral on Threads:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Just landed via Slack:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

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A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”
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Commentary:
Ah, the timeless wisdom of acknowledging when the partner is right! 🤣👏 Let's hear it for the wise man who knows that sometimes, saying "Yes, darling. You're right." is the greatest form of wisdom and diplomacy! 😄👍

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

I suffer from awesomnia.

11 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

70 shares on Threads this month:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

28 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

14 shares on X this month:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just found out that rock bottom has a basement.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,993

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

The belief that software engineers are uniquely intelligent has done unimaginable damage on society.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

People that ask Grok “Is this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Breaking via Facebook:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Spotted on TikTok:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Live now on Reddit:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Seen just now on TikTok:

A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Going bananas on Discord:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Spotted on WeChat:

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

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