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Commentary:
"Listening to true crime podcasts: turning armchair detectives into potential masterminds since forever 🔍🎧🕵️‍♂️ #CrimePodcastJunkie #DontMessWithUs"

away, crime, entertainment, get away, humor, hundred, investigation, murder, paranoia, podcast, solve, start, ten, think, true, true crime

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

0

2 months ago

actually, awareness, going, humor, i, know, knowledge, people, preference
What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

0

2 months ago

choice, decision, dispatch, event, feeling, FOMO, going, going out, hear, humor, knowing, once, opposite, regret, right, social, social event, somewhere
Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

0

2 months ago

cheetos, eating, exercise, fitness, guy, humor, indulgence, irony, me, motivation, Peloton, snack, yelling
“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

0

2 months ago

advice, career, dress, expectations, fashion, good, humor, job, tutu, want, well
Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

0

5 months ago

bro, casual, casual conversation, conversation, Dre, forget, humor, just, question, seriously, surprise
I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

0

2 months ago

dark, dark magic, fantasy, fun, fun quote, hesitate, humor, i, joking, magic, playful, playful threat, supernatural, threat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on TikTok this month:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

36 shares on Slack this month:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

22 shares on WeChat this month:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

21 shares on Discord this month:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

45 shares on X this month:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

Please don’t ask me to repeat myself. I wasn’t listening either.

Making waves on Reddit:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Shared recently on Snapchat:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Just landed via WeChat:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Crossing things off my to-do list… I didn’t do them, I just don’t want them on my list anymore.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Spotted on Discord:

Why can’t periods just last for an hour? Like, you made your point, I’m not pregnant, you can leave now.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨