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Commentary:
"Well, maybe they're just not into the paw-fect attendance policy 🐾🐕 Who can blame them though? With all that unconditional love and tail-wagging joy, they've probably already secured a spot in doggy heaven anyway!"

belief, church, dog, dogs, heaven, humor, i, irony, never, pets, religion

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46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

10 shares on Threads this month:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

12 shares on Twitch this month:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

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Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

“Work smarter, not harder.” Brother, I’m not doing either of those things.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Slack:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Of course I look tired, it’s hard pretending to be awake.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Just shared via X:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Seen just now on Instagram:

December turns me into someone who believes a fat man with a beard can fix everything.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

Wordgag ツ

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All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

Being an iPad baby must be so exciting. Imagine going from nine dull months in the womb to playing Candy Crush.

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Porn looks so funny when you’re not horny.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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