Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, maybe they're just not into the paw-fect attendance policy 🐾🐕 Who can blame them though? With all that unconditional love and tail-wagging joy, they've probably already secured a spot in doggy heaven anyway!"

belief, church, dog, dogs, heaven, humor, i, irony, never, pets, religion

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

0

2 months ago

clothes, exhausted, fashion, frazzled, humor, idea, model, real, real idea, relatable, self-image, website
Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, bed, bedtime, comfort, cover, cuddle, exaggeration, hard, humor, i, last, night, sleep
At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

0

2 months ago

coping, emotional, emotional pain, heal, healing, health, humor, loss, me, memory, memory loss, mental, mental health, only, pain, point, sarcasm, thing
There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

0

2 months ago

challenge, chaos, class, control, days, education, hug, humor, teaching, tornado, trying
I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

0

2 months ago

communication, correct, humor, husband, i, love, marriage, me, opportunity, pass, relationship, wrong
If I were an organ, I’d fail.

0

2 months ago

fail, humor, i, ID, organ, sarcasm, self-deprecation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

Grateful to be living in the “Tetris when it’s going too fast and blocks are helplessly piling up” era of human history.

46 shares on Slack this month:

I’m of the very strong opinion that sex ed should be taught by a woman 37 weeks into her third pregnancy, while her husband sits scrolling through his phone, and her other two children run wild.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’d probably be a very chill werewolf, even during a full moon.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

29 shares on Pinterest this month:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today. I need the blood of my enemies.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Freshly posted on X:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Trending via Pinterest:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Seen just now on X:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Just landed via Discord:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Freshly posted on X:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

Spotted on Discord:

It sucks when you have to stand on an escalator for 30 minutes because of a power cut.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado.

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨