Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Well, maybe they're just not into the paw-fect attendance policy 🐾🐕 Who can blame them though? With all that unconditional love and tail-wagging joy, they've probably already secured a spot in doggy heaven anyway!"

belief, church, dog, dogs, heaven, humor, i, irony, never, pets, religion

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

0

2 months ago

best, dining, forgetfulness, forgot, glasses, hoping, humor, menu, mishap, pointing, random, spot
Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

0

4 months ago

even, fatigue, humor, little, most, power, powerful, sleepiness, sleepy, still, strength, tiredness
I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

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2 months ago

bodily, bodily function, body, comedy, fart, function, funny moment, humor, i, joke, just, moment, quirky, same, screenshot, sneeze, think, time, unexpected
My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

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2 months ago

care, dish, exaggeration, family, humor, i, parenting, put, sink, son, urgent, urgent care
I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

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1 month ago

appetite, breakfast, chewing, daily, daily routine, eat, eating, food, forget, forgetfulness, humor, humor quote, i, lunch, meal, meal planning, people, planning, routine, understand, while
Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

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2 months ago

bio, bumble, dating, family, guys, humor, murder, online, online dating, response, sarcasm, still, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

38 shares on Facebook this month:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

94 shares on Facebook this month:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

My future husband is probably enjoying a nice summer with his first wife… but the seeds of discontent are there.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money” don’t I understand?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Just shared via Slack:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Going bananas on WeChat:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Going bananas on X:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Making waves on TikTok:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Just landed via Messenger:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Going viral on YouTube:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

Spotted on TikTok:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Changed my bio on bumble to “I’m gonna murder ur whole family” and guys still responded.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨