Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.
  • Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.
  • Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.
  • Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.
  • Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.
  • Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.