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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has shared:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Hey (threateningly), can I join your years-old, tight-knit, close friend group?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

For Halloween, Iโ€™m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has shared:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but itโ€™s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has downloaded:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

Staying up all night so I don’t miss any good posts.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,677

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I was actually doing so well until your email found me.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Spotted on Telegram:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said โ€œno thanks, Iโ€™m not hungry right nowโ€ and I donโ€™t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Just landed via Slack:

Has someone told the whales that they canโ€™t sing?

Seen just now on Slack:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Trending via Telegram:

I typed my name into Google’s search bar and it immediately auto-filled to “Doesn’t even listen to instructions” before crashing under the weight of disappointed search results.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Going viral on Twitch:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Two things I learned yesterday: Iโ€™m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but Iโ€™m too old to get out of one.

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Humorous text expressing Monday blues with relatable wit and playful frustration.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Ah, the unwanted guest we call Monday has arrived once again, uninvited and unwelcome ๐Ÿ™„ May your coffee be strong and your day be short! โ˜•๏ธ๐Ÿ˜… #MondayBlues"

, , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars โญ

81 shares on Discord this month:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

94 shares on Threads this month:

People who say โ€œteamwork makes the dream workโ€ are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

50 shares on Threads this month:

โ€˜Another bombshell has entered the villa!โ€™ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

17 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry that I cannot come out drinking with you tonight, as I will be drinking at home. Alone. By myself.

13 shares on YouTube this month:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

47 shares on Discord this month:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

100 shares on Discord this month:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Iโ€™m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

19 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

How are they running out of oxygen if theyโ€™re breathing it right back into the submarine?

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

8 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

13 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

10 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

20 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. Iโ€™m getting it framed.

25 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Canโ€™t stand British posts on my timeline. โ€œI bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!โ€ What the hell are you talking about?

22 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I get it, credit cards, Iโ€™ve reached my limit too.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has viewed:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

Are you telling me these billionaires donโ€™t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

Listen to your body? The body that craves a lethal amount of Kinder Bueno?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has shared:

If you like Christmas so much, why donโ€™t you merry it?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Pinterest:

Thatโ€™s me in the corner, thatโ€™s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Spotted on Pinterest:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Iโ€™m too old to be jingling all the way, Iโ€™ll jingle til about five thirty.

Trending via Snapchat:

They all cheat, lie and manipulate. Just pick the pretty one.

Spreading quickly via X:

Born to be quiet and mysterious, forced to yap whenever I get the chance.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Iโ€™m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Why is it called โ€œfree timeโ€ when I use it to spend all my money?

Going viral on Messenger:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Going viral on X:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Just shared via Telegram:

I donโ€™t have red flags, I have fun facts.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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