Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Stop blaming others for your mistakes. Study Feng Shui and blame the furniture.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,792

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Shared recently on Slack:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

Just shared via Telegram:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Spotted on Discord:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Going viral on Facebook:

Euthanizing my Tamagotchi.

Just shared via Facebook:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Going viral on Discord:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

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Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the magical allure of a new deodorant scent! 💫✨ Just think of it as a mysterious, seductive companion accompanying you on your daily adventures. 😏 Who says romance is dead when you've got a sexy stranger lurking in your armpits! 🕵️‍♂️💃"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

31 shares on Discord this month:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

62 shares on X this month:

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve reached a point in my life where if I can’t find parking, I’m just going to go home.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I was meant to be rich, I can tell by the way I spend money.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,836

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

No one my age is single because they’re all unhappily married.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Making waves on YouTube:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m the type of person to go back to sleep and try to finish a dream.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Going bananas on Threads:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

Going viral on TikTok:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Going viral on Slack:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

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