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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Jan 5, 2026

3,350

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Just shared via Discord:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Just shared via TikTok:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Just landed via TikTok:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

Trending via Snapchat:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Going viral on X:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

2 months ago

0

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the magical allure of a new deodorant scent! 💫✨ Just think of it as a mysterious, seductive companion accompanying you on your daily adventures. 😏 Who says romance is dead when you've got a sexy stranger lurking in your armpits! 🕵️‍♂️💃"

anytime, around, care, confidence, day, deodorant, following, humor, i, me, personal, personal care, scent, sexy, stranger, switch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

0

2 months ago

bartender, drinks, expensive, humor, liquor, shelf, stand, t, tippy, tippy t, top, top shelf
Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

0

2 months ago

brain, closing, eye, flash, humor, just, last, last time, life, tab, time
Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

0

2 months ago

exclusivity, friends, friendship, heart, humor, hurt, hurts, me, monogamous, relationship, talk
If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

0

2 months ago

amusement, annoyance, annoyed, attitude, emotion, enter, figure, God, hack, humor, improvement, life, life hack, mindset, mode, motivation, much, positivity, pretty, self, self-improvement, state
The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

0

2 months ago

autocorrect, bar, bear, humor, inventor, joke, technology, wordplay
You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

0

2 months ago

age, asking, changes, eyesight, getting, getting older, humor, instructions, keep, know, life, life changes, older, print, small, small print

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dry January is out. Sopping Wet February is in.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

16 shares on X this month:

No crypto for me, thanks, at least not until I figure out how dollars work.

98 shares on Discord this month:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

59 shares on Facebook this month:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Women love it when you approach them on the street and say “whoa, is there a hot babe convention in town?”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

This is no glow. This is the rage that boils inside me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe my ex-wife is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you have to watch shows that are in English with subtitles.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,686

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Even worse than a spider is a spider that just disappeared.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

Just landed via TikTok:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Breaking via Instagram:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Making waves on X:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Trending via WeChat:

Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.

Live now on WeChat:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Live now on Snapchat:

People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

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