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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

The echo in my house when it’s clean is unsettling. Better order more stuff.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

“In a galaxy far, far away” is starting to sound quite enticing.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

If I worked construction, I would always say, “It’s hammer time,” when I left for work.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.

Making waves on WeChat:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Breaking via YouTube:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Shared recently on Telegram:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Freshly posted on X:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Just landed via Reddit:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Avocado is just green butter.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Seen just now on Reddit:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

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Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.
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Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the classic foot-in-mouth situation with a side of unintentional burn 🔥. Remember, folks: always handle delicate situations with utmost care, even if your humor is as sharp as your attire for the wedding 💁‍♂️👰. Lesson learned the hard way! 😅"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Facebook this month:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

17 shares on Snapchat this month:

Basketball’s all like “gimme that pumpkin, I need it” and golf is all like “***k this egg, imma hit it into the sun”

19 shares on X this month:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

68 shares on X this month:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

15 shares on Reddit this month:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

I love single sign-on because you only have to sign on once, 8 times a day.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Just shared via X:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Just landed via Discord:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Just shared via Threads:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Just landed via Slack:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Broadcasted on X:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Just shared via Threads:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

Just shared via X:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

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