Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Parenting 101: Master the art of carrying your kid out of a store like a surfboard 🏄‍♂️ Who needs a gym membership when you have a squirming child to wrangle? 😆 #ParentingProblems"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

2 weeks ago

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I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

2 weeks ago

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Don’t study, get slutty!

2 weeks ago

advice, dating, fun, humor, party, slutty, study, youth
Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

2 weeks ago

break, cheese, focus, food, humor, relaxation, taking, thinking, time, time off
Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

2 weeks ago

bad, beautiful, beauty, humor, irony, morning, sunrise, timing
What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

2 weeks ago

finite, humor, infinite, mystery, paradox, philosophy, secret, thing, third, universe

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Slack this month:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

85 shares on Threads this month:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

70 shares on Facebook this month:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Trending via Twitch:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Going viral on YouTube:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Just shared via Telegram:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Spotted on Threads:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Live now on Snapchat:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Spotted on Reddit:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Making waves on Twitch:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m just a girl standing in front of a cat who followed me to the bathroom.

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Don’t study, get slutty!

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨