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Commentary:
"Who knew that even sandwiches have health-conscious destinations?! 🥪🏥 Well, if it works for sick deli delights, it must be a miracle worker for us mere humans too! 🤣 #SandwichRehab"

better, clinic, humor, joke, mayo, place, sandwich, sick, sounds, still, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

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2 months ago

activity, advice, climbing, humor, mountain, nonsense, outdoors, people, risk, understand
I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

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2 months ago

age, crisis, humor, joke, life, life stages, midlife, midlife crisis, older, remark, stages, witty, witty remark
I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

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2 months ago

believe, disbelief, funny situation, humor, i, loud, morning, motorcycle, neighbor, neighbors, noise, over, running, running over, situation, someone, tomorrow
I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

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4 months ago

fatigue, humor, i, less, reincarnation, tired, wish
It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

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2 months ago

banknote, fake, hold, humor, light, people, real, shame
The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

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2 months ago

cancellation, group, help, humor, irony, meeting, negativity, pessimist

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

66 shares on Threads this month:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

10 shares on Discord this month:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

My lips could use some attention today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Imagine being social on social media.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Trending via Discord:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I started my diet 2 hours ago, I’m glad that’s over.

Just shared via Reddit:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Just landed via Facebook:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Just landed via YouTube:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Going viral on Discord:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Making waves on Slack:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

I would like to be reincarnated as less tired.

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨