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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

People pleasing doesn’t go well with my black attire.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Going bananas on Threads:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Going viral on Twitch:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.

Seen just now on Slack:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

Just shared via Instagram:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Spotted on Messenger:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.

0
As highly as it’s esteemed, the Mayo Clinic still sounds like the place sick sandwiches go to get better.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew that even sandwiches have health-conscious destinations?! 🥪🏥 Well, if it works for sick deli delights, it must be a miracle worker for us mere humans too! 🤣 #SandwichRehab"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

42 shares on Reddit this month:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

21 shares on Slack this month:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about being an adult is that no matter how sad you get, the show must go on.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Blowing over it is also dusting.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,493

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Live now on YouTube:

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Live now on YouTube:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Just shared via Snapchat:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When I was a kid, there were two ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

Trending via Telegram:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Shared recently on X:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

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