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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

46 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Trending via Snapchat:

I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Trending via Pinterest:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Trending via Reddit:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Seen just now on Reddit:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Just landed via Pinterest:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

6 months ago

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the 30+ life – where recharging overnight is just a warm-up exercise for the day ahead. 🤷‍♂️⚡️ Don't worry, you're not alone in the struggle to keep up with the energy levels of a toddler. But hey, at least you're still ticking, even if it's at 60% capacity by lunchtime! 💪😂 #PoweredByLaughs #BatteryLifeStruggles

30, 30s, age, battery, charge, energy, even, exhaustion, hours, humor, me, midday, old, phone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

46 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide for plants.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

About to watch Tenet for the first time and I enjoyed it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Trending via Telegram:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Reported on X:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Trending via Snapchat:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

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