Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

You’re the ‘S’ to my ‘HTTP’; without you, I’m just a bad connection!

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,750

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on X:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Spotted on Telegram:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Just landed via Instagram:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Trending via X:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Making waves on Instagram:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Making waves on Telegram:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Trending via YouTube:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

2 weeks ago

Humorous quote about feeling drained, comparing age to a low phone battery.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the 30+ life – where recharging overnight is just a warm-up exercise for the day ahead. 🤷‍♂️⚡️ Don't worry, you're not alone in the struggle to keep up with the energy levels of a toddler. But hey, at least you're still ticking, even if it's at 60% capacity by lunchtime! 💪😂 #PoweredByLaughs #BatteryLifeStruggles

30, 30s, age, battery, charge, energy, even, exhaustion, hours, humor, me, midday, old, phone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Threads this month:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

66 shares on YouTube this month:

I have heard that people without dogs have to pick up dropped food themselves.

18 shares on Slack this month:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

52 shares on Facebook this month:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

20 shares on X this month:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

95 shares on YouTube this month:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,531

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Breaking via Instagram:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Trending via Slack:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Spotted on Facebook:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

Just shared via Messenger:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Breaking via Instagram:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

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