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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,745

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Going viral on Reddit:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Spotted on Slack:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Spotted on Telegram:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Broadcasted on Messenger:

God: “You’re all really bad at this.”

Making waves on Slack:

“I’ve tasted going back to an ex, and I’ve tasted trying to fix a relationship before it breaks. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 10 p.m.”

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

3 weeks ago

Humorous quote about feeling drained, comparing age to a low phone battery.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the 30+ life – where recharging overnight is just a warm-up exercise for the day ahead. 🤷‍♂️⚡️ Don't worry, you're not alone in the struggle to keep up with the energy levels of a toddler. But hey, at least you're still ticking, even if it's at 60% capacity by lunchtime! 💪😂 #PoweredByLaughs #BatteryLifeStruggles

30, 30s, age, battery, charge, energy, even, exhaustion, hours, humor, me, midday, old, phone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Messenger this month:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

64 shares on X this month:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

75 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,335

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I like you, I might be picturing you on fire.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

This chapter of my life is called “Ummm, okay, I guess whatever.”

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Just landed via Discord:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Going viral on Threads:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Just shared via Reddit:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

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