At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

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I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

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My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

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Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

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I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

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If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

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Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

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If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

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I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

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Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

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At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.