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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Sometimes I have to turn off the news and put on a true crime documentary, so I can relax.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

My only chance at a big house in the country is if I become a rescue dog.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,666

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I don’t get it when people say they are only a “little” angry, I am either not mad or will kill you.

Spotted on Threads:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Let the kids believe in Santa. I believed the Undertaker and Kane were brothers.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Just shared via Discord:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Just landed via X:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Aura is the real business card.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess I'll need to work on my 'aura-tunity' for success! ✨💼😂"

aura, business, business card, card, confidence, first impression, impression, personality, professionalism, real

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

This book ain’t got no pictures.

0

2 months ago

book, got, humor, joke, pictures, reading, sarcasm
Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

0

2 weeks ago

care, grok, humor, indifference, just, love, people, personification, reply, sometimes, summon
Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

0

2 months ago

90, activity, aesthetics, decision, decision making, fun, fun activity, grape, grape variety, humor, label, making, pretty, pretty label, shopping, variety, wine
What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

0

2 months ago

age, decision, humor, i, mean, means, money, regret, spending, tattoo, trust, youth
Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

0

2 months ago

asleep, child, effective, family, humor, instrument, parenting, practice, sibling, still
A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

0

2 months ago

butterfly, comparison, funny comparison, glasses, hair, humor, insect, joke, just, moth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

48 shares on X this month:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

88 shares on X this month:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

First responders? You mean reply guys?

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

85 shares on Threads this month:

“There’s something beautifully intimate about never speaking to a person again.”

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The peace of not knowing.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Shared recently on Threads:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Live now on Pinterest:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Just landed via Instagram:

What was the main bloke called in Harry Potter?

Spotted on Reddit:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Live now on Threads:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

Trending via Telegram:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Aura is the real business card.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Love when people summon Grok and there’s no reply. He just doesn’t care sometimes.

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨