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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I waste a lot of time putting my phone down to just pick it back up again.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Passive income? Brothers, I need massive income.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Jan 7, 2026

3,485

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I toss and turn in bed all night like a beautiful rotisserie chicken.

Just landed via TikTok:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Going viral on Snapchat:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

Just landed via Slack:

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

Just shared via Reddit:

Does no one disappear in the Bermuda Triangle anymore, or is there just too much other news?

Trending via Threads:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

2 months ago

0

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like in autumn, men are holding on to those summer vibes like a hot potato 🥵, while women have already pulled out their winter coats and are sipping on pumpkin spice lattes in style ❄️☕️. It's all about that seasonal transition struggle! 🍂💁‍♂️💁‍♀️

around, autumn, fashion, humor, men, run, seasons, summer, winter, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

0

2 months ago

banana, expectation, expectations, game, humor, Kart, Mario, Mario Kart, me, peel, racing, traffic, unrealistic
Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

0

5 months ago

asked, child, honesty, humor, nobody, parenting, roommate, toddler, toddlers
Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

0

4 weeks ago

buy, buyer, chair, chairs, coming, concern, Facebook, Facebook Marketplace, humor, i, marketplace, me, murder, online, online shopping, over, safety, safety concern, sale, shopping, someone
Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

0

2 months ago

act, back, cry, habit, invited, meetings, never, unhinged
Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

0

2 months ago

again, big, comma, fan, great, humor, i, just, oh, pause, punctuation, read, sentence, writing
I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

0

2 months ago

Aristotle, believe, fastest, humor, i, kids, laughter, once, parenting, screaming, start, stop

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on X this month:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

40 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Have you tried complaining about it?

93 shares on TikTok this month:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting road rage alone in my house.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,676

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

You don’t have to write every day to be a writer! You just have to feel guilty every day that you don’t.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Dad Hack: Get your teen’s attention instantly by pre-heating the oven.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Making waves on X:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Broadcasted on X:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Just shared via Facebook:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Spotted on Discord:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

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