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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

All the things I like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Just landed via Twitch:

I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Reported on Pinterest:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Just shared via Threads:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Don’t be fooled by what your kids will eat at someone else’s house.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Making waves on Telegram:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Breaking via Facebook:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.
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Commentary:
Looks like in autumn, men are holding on to those summer vibes like a hot potato 🥵, while women have already pulled out their winter coats and are sipping on pumpkin spice lattes in style ❄️☕️. It's all about that seasonal transition struggle! 🍂💁‍♂️💁‍♀️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,440

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Anyone else who tells their pets every time they leave the house that they’ll be back soon?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Please don’t dm me with the intention of dating me. You deserve less.

Seen just now on TikTok:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Just shared via TikTok:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Seen just now on Threads:

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

Going viral on Threads:

According to my kids’ Christmas lists, they think this parenting gig pays pretty well.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Shared recently on Facebook:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

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