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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

1 minute ago

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Trending via Facebook:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Shared recently on Discord:

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

Just landed via Messenger:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Reported on Reddit:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Just shared via WeChat:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Jan 21, 2025

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

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Commentary:
"Trying to keep up with introverts is like playing a real-life game of Clue: is it Professor Plum in the library with a book, or Miss Scarlet in the study with a cozy blanket? 🦸‍♂️💤 The mystery deepens when they resurface as Batman, ready to save the day (or just have a quiet night in)."

Batman, being, die, friends, hard, humor, interaction, introvert, just, me, recharging, social, social interaction, suspense

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

1 minute ago

3,454

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I’d like to thank the municipal snow plow for recreating the wall from Game of Thrones at the end of my driveway.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Making waves on Messenger:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Just landed via Instagram:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Breaking via Reddit:

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Just landed via Threads:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Going viral on Snapchat:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

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