Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has bookmarked:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ซ has bookmarked:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has viewed:

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just landed via Discord:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Just shared via Telegram:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Breaking via Facebook:

Iโ€™ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Trending via Telegram:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Going viral on Facebook:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say โ€œI donโ€™t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat youโ€ that usually shuts them up.

Spotted on TikTok:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

Live now on Threads:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Breaking via TikTok:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Just landed via Instagram:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.
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Commentary:
"Ah, yes, a proud member of the Association of Sleepy Souls ๐ŸŒ™๐Ÿ’ค Embrace the nap life – it's not laziness, it's a lifestyle choice! ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ’ค"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

Updated

54 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

Donโ€™t ever forget where you came from. Thatโ€™s where you left your car.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Iโ€™m a total go with the flow kinda person as long as the flow is meticulously scheduled well in advance and there are no mid-flow changes whatsoever.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡น has copied:

You can fake a smile, but you canโ€™t fake jazz hands.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท has bookmarked:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnnโ€ฆโ€ฆ the laundry.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has copied:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via WeChat:

The one nice thing about your friendsโ€™ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Spotted on Facebook:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Making waves on WeChat:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Making waves on Facebook:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Trending via TikTok:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Just shared via WeChat:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. Iโ€™m sure itโ€™s fine.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Making waves on Facebook:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner whoโ€™s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Broadcasted on X:

Do you know how much effort goes into looking this regular?

Making waves on Threads:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

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