Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

“I’m just a girl!” No, you are a monster.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

Going viral on Instagram:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Just shared via WeChat:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Trending via Instagram:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Just landed via Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s: that “teenager”over there is actually 27.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

Going bananas on Pinterest:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

2 months ago

0

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like this boyfriend doesn't just avoid networking events, but even digital connections! 🙅‍♂️ If he can't commit to accepting a LinkedIn request, will he ever commit to relationship goals? 🤔 Perhaps he's still figuring out if he wants to 'network' exclusively with you! 😆 #NetworkingRelationships

boyfriend, build, connect, humor, LinkedIn, media, relationship, request, social, social media, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.

0

2 months ago

dead, great, humor, irony, man, never, obituary, pleasure, read, sarcasm, wish
People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

0

2 months ago

answer, ask, crazy, honesty, humor, people, question, scared, yes
I keep my mind active by worrying.

0

2 months ago

activity, health, humor, i, keep, mental, mental health, mind, self-care, worry, worrying
Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

0

4 months ago

again, alone, awkward, awkward moment, bowling, funny situation, humor, imagine, moment, self entertainment, sit, situation, turn, yourself
The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

0

2 months ago

Airbnb, asleep, comfort, comfortable, falling, humor, never, reviews, sleep, tell, toilet, toilets
“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

0

2 months ago

appearance, body, body image, construct, fashion, femininity, gender, girls, image, norms, social, social construct, societal, societal norms

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Acceptance truly begins when you ask Alexa to play classic rock and she plays a song that came out when you were in high school.

36 shares on Threads this month:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

67 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

70 shares on WeChat this month:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

40 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t wait to overuse the “My husband said,” “Let me phone my husband,” “I’ll ask my husband.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in my day, if you were 14 on the internet, you kept that to yourself.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who thinks things have got so bad that they can only get better is showing a remarkable lack of imagination.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,435

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Dating is so overrated. Let’s just get married.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sometimes I use big words I don’t always fully understand, in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.

Live now on Threads:

The guy that said laughter is the best medicine obviously wasn’t suffering from diarrhea.

Spotted on Reddit:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Live now on TikTok:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Breaking via Reddit:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Trending via Discord:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Live now on Messenger:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴