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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2023 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,185

Funny Quotes Topics

14,938

Funny Quotes Images

12,185

3 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Making waves on Instagram:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Breaking via Discord:

Flex on your kids by asking “are we there yet?” before they do.

Broadcasted on X:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Reported on Instagram:

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Spotted on X:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Spotted on Messenger:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Just landed via Messenger:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

4 months ago

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

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Commentary:
Looks like this boyfriend doesn't just avoid networking events, but even digital connections! 🙅‍♂️ If he can't commit to accepting a LinkedIn request, will he ever commit to relationship goals? 🤔 Perhaps he's still figuring out if he wants to 'network' exclusively with you! 😆 #NetworkingRelationships

boyfriend, build, connect, humor, LinkedIn, media, relationship, request, social, social media, want

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2023 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,185

Funny Quotes Topics

14,938

Funny Quotes Images

12,185

3 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m over here with one hand in my pocket, and the other one giving a high five.

Just shared via Threads:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

They should remove the sex scenes from movies and then put them all into one big super sex scene movie they can show in theaters at the end of the year.

Live now on WeChat:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I start each day assuming it will be horrible and go from there.

Trending via Instagram:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

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