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Commentary:
"Getting a new phone these days is like taking your old phone to a fancy salon for a makeover, only to realize it's still the same old chatty, needy device underneath all that glitz and glam 💇📱💅 #PhoneMakeoverGoneWrong"

buying, comparison, even, haircut, humor, just, new, old, phone, satisfaction, technology, upgrade

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

2 months ago
activity, die, friend, friends, ghost, good, hope, humor, i, people, scare, stay, walk, wall, walls
The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

1 month ago
after, alley, back, bowling, bowling alley, bumper, embarrassment, except, game, humor, i, knock, me, pin, shame, sit, walk, walk of shame, walking, zero, zero pin
I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

1 month ago
cheat, cheating, evasion, finance, humor, i, joke, money, pun, satire, sleeping, tax, tax evasion
I need a massage for my brain.

1 month ago
brain, humor, i, massage, need, relaxation, relief, self-care, stress, stress relief
For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

1 month ago
busters, culture, ghost, Ghost Busters, humor, least, movie, movie reference, music, nostalgia, number, once, phone, phone number, pop, pop culture, reference, song, think
Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

1 month ago
addiction, back, change, comparison, dating, days, humor, relationship, trust

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

My toxic trait is optimism.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Shared recently on YouTube:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Going viral on WeChat:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

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Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

I need a massage for my brain.

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Girls ask for help to open a jar, but can throw a couch during an argument.

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

I get unreasonably happy when a YouTube video has subtitles that aren’t auto-generated.

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Brussels sprouts were invented by big cabbage to sell little cabbages.

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Beer is Narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams.

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

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Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

I need a massage for my brain.

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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