Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Getting a new phone these days is like taking your old phone to a fancy salon for a makeover, only to realize it's still the same old chatty, needy device underneath all that glitz and glam 💇📱💅 #PhoneMakeoverGoneWrong"

buying, comparison, even, haircut, humor, just, new, old, phone, satisfaction, technology, upgrade

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

0

2 months ago

cleanliness, dust, existential, humor, i, irony, joke, know, life, philosophy, return, someone, why
You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

0

2 months ago

alarm, alarm clock, always, clock, complaints, face, humor, morning, perspective, put, relatable, thing, yourself
I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

0

2 months ago

daily, daily life, distraction, doing, enjoy, exercise, forgetfulness, humor, i, life, memory, remember, stairs, trying, walk, walks
I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

0

2 months ago

advice, conversation, expert, humor, i, irony, life, live, notes, sarcasm, sorry, take
I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

0

2 weeks ago

adult, astronaut, celebrity, comparison, humor, identity, katy, Katy Perry, perry, same, space
Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

0

2 months ago

cure, depression, financial, financial freedom, freedom, happiness, health, humor, joke, mental, mental health, million, money, thing, wealth

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

15 shares on X this month:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

66 shares on X this month:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Thinking you’re too smart to be manipulated is exactly how you get manipulated.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Sometimes I don’t worry about things at all and other times I am awake.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Cool times create cool guys.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Making waves on X:

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Trending via Slack:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Going viral on X:

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

You’re always bitching about your alarm clock, but put yourself in his shoes. The first thing he sees in the morning is your face.

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

I’m an adult in the same way that Katy Perry is an astronaut.

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨