By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.