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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I have good problem solving skills, but my problem creating skills are where I really shine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Just shared via TikTok:

When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Making waves on Reddit:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Making waves on Reddit:

Where do you see yourself five beers from now? What’s your five-beer plan?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Going viral on Twitch:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Rainy days are just nature's way of setting the stage for our Oscar-worthy romance scenes! ☔️🎭❤️"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,465

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

I came, I saw, I took a selfie as proof that I came and saw.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

You ever met someone so dumb you gotta take a deep breath before responding to them?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Breaking via Telegram:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Just shared via Discord:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Making waves on Slack:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

Trending via Pinterest:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Trending via Instagram:

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

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