Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If I can’t wash dishes to your album, it ain’t that fire.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I would do anything for a job, except write a cover letter.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

You know you’re really stressed when you start getting on your own nerves.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,701

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Freshly posted on X:

Back in the office this morning, trying to remember what I do for work.

Just landed via Instagram:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You can tell they named the aardvark early in the week and the anteater on a Friday.

Spotted on Facebook:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Live now on Slack:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Trending via YouTube:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎶🪗 Ah, the age-old dilemma: mastering the accordion or showcasing your new talent at work? Remember, nothing charms coworkers more than the unexpected serenade of an accordion during meetings! Your call… but we're just saying, the office could use a little more *oom-pah-pah*! 😄🎵

accordion, activity, bring, call, decision, fun, fun activity, home, humor, i, learn, me, play, stay, stay home, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

37 shares on Discord this month:

Are you bad wifi, cause im feeling no connection here.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop eating around the bush or whatever the saying is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,353

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Freshly posted on X:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Making waves on YouTube:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Making waves on Telegram:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Going viral on Telegram:

Is there a word for FOMO but it’s already happened and you didn’t know about it when it was happening?

Going viral on Pinterest:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Just landed via Instagram:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

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