Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If you see this, straighten your back, you banana-shaped mess.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Making waves on WeChat:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Making waves on Twitch:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”

Spotted on WeChat:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?

Going bananas on Discord:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Going viral on Threads:

Spotify has got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.

Called in, “I can either stay home today and learn to play this accordion or bring it in with me. Your call.”

2 weeks ago

Humorous quote about choosing between staying home or bringing an accordion to work.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎶🪗 Ah, the age-old dilemma: mastering the accordion or showcasing your new talent at work? Remember, nothing charms coworkers more than the unexpected serenade of an accordion during meetings! Your call… but we're just saying, the office could use a little more *oom-pah-pah*! 😄🎵

accordion, activity, bring, call, decision, fun, fun activity, home, humor, i, learn, me, play, stay, stay home, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Facebook this month:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

89 shares on Discord this month:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

Doing dry January, so I’ve had eleven Diet Cokes at this bar.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Please don’t leave me to my own devices. They’re all out of batteries.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

I asked my doctor if I’m healthy enough for sex and he told me I’m not even sexy enough for health.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s interesting growing up and discovering that most adults are not that clever. I had my suspicions as a kid but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Being weird never goes out of style.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know 17 muscles are activated when you’re crying? Fitness is my passion.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The smaller the woman, the bigger the attitude. It’s science.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

Going viral on Instagram:

Why am I scrolling? What am I searching for?

Making waves on Discord:

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Love is in the air fryer.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Going viral on X:

Sorry I missed your call. I saw that you were calling and immediately threw my phone into an active volcano.

Making waves on X:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Live now on Pinterest:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Just shared via Reddit:

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

Freshly posted on X:

I thought Game of Thrones was a pooping contest for men.

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