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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ί has bookmarked:

It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¬ has shared:

Y’all are single because y’all are looking for 90’s love in this sick generation.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has copied:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has viewed:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has copied:

β€œHow would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ή has copied:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has shared:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Snapchat:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Making waves on YouTube:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m intermittent fasting, so I have to finish this cake really quick before 6 pm.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

Just shared via Threads:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Funny quote about restless frustration and finding excuses to be annoyed.
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Commentary:
Sounds like a classic case of "opportunity knocks, but it's just to annoy you instead of it bringing you joy." πŸšͺ😀 Who knew frustration could be so persistent and exhausting, right? Maybe it's time for opportunity to knock a little quieter next time, or just bring some chocolate instead! πŸ«πŸ˜…

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Slack this month:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

65 shares on Discord this month:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

The man who invented autocorrect has died. Restaurant in peace.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

Carrying my phone from room to room like a Victorian woman and her lantern.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

23 shares on Discord this month:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

10 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If I were you, I would rather be me.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has downloaded:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡· has bookmarked:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

If I ever say β€œwith all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has shared:

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Another year? But the last one got such bad reviews.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡± has viewed:

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡² has viewed:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has viewed:

People that ask Grok β€œIs this true” are the reason our society is getting dumber by the minute.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Facebook:

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

Trending via TikTok:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Just landed via Instagram:

My lips could use some attention today.

Shared recently on Threads:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Wrapping gifts on the floor after 50: 1% holiday spirit, 99% figuring out how to stand up without calling for help.

Trending via Pinterest:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

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